NFL Week 1 Takeaways

 
(Photo via SBNation.com)

(Photo via SBNation.com)

Yesterday was like Christmas Day if you’re a football fan. If you’re like me, it’s almost better. 

Each game is like a freshly wrapped present under the tree. If you’re a Los Angeles Rams fan, last night was the equivalent of getting the PlayStation 5 that you’ve been asking for and expecting all year. If you’re the Tennessee Titans, it was like looking at the biggest box, tightly nestled in the corner near the tree. You stare at its beauty, shake it a few times, and wait in eager anticipation for weeks, only to open the present and find a Costco-sized box of socks and underwear. 

Even as a Titans’ fan, I managed to shake off the stench of yesterday’s loss and could still talk myself into believing after Week 1. Remember, kids, any and all Week 1 takeaways are a direct and final reflection of what your team will be for the rest of the year, unless of course you are the miserable failure that was the 2020 Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ squad. That is to say that none of this matters at all!

Here are my primary takeaways from a thrilling opening day of football:

[Disclaimer: if I don’t write about your team, it’s because I hate them and I’m utterly and completely biased against them]

A Tale of Two Matts

This is not news to Bears fans. Matt Nagy has managed to skate by for the last few years off of being incredibly average consistently, getting just enough out of Mitch Trubisky and propping up his failure of a coaching tenure with a defense that featured Pro Bowlers like Khalil Mack, Eddie Jackson, and Kyle Fuller. Fuller is gone, and they gave his money to new starting QB Andy Dalton. Bears’ social media caught Eddie Jackson on camera talking about how tackling wasn’t important. On a completely unrelated note, new QB Matt Stafford averaged 16 yards per completion on 20/26 passing, and completely torched the Chicago secondary in his Rams debut. 

I don’t think it’s necessarily indicative of the Bears’ defense for the rest of the season, because I think Stafford is going to do this to everyone. What concerns me the most for the Bears’ D is that it looked easy for Stafford the whole game. Oh, and Andy Dalton’s longest pass of the game was 19 yards, which is just past what Stafford averaged on every completion he threw. 

I’ll post the NFL Next-Gen route tree for the “elite” receiver that Chicago franchise-tagged this past season below. Remember when Matt Nagy had that post-Andy Reid offensive wonderboy shine? Yeah, me neither. This offense has been an embarrassment to football since Nagy’s arrival. I’ve written all of this without even mentioning their biggest issue, starting Dalton over Justin Fields. That’s how much of a disaster this is for Nagy. 

Fields would fix a lot in Chicago, especially their downfield passing game, by nature of his being an actual running threat (and a good one at that), as opposed to Andy Dalton, who at this point couldn’t scramble for 15 yards against a low-tier college team playing prevent defense. Nagy should be fired out of a cannon from Halas Hall into Lake Michigan. Or he could start Justin Fields. Or both.

 
 

I was wrong about the state of Pennsylvania

Boy, was I wrong about these Philadelphia Eagles. Both of their young receivers, Davonta Smith and Jalen Reagor (Go Frogs), looked polished and ready to roll this year, both scoring TDs yesterday. The defense showed up in a big way against an Atlanta team which had seen offensive promise when former Titans’ OC Arthur Smith took the reins as Head Coach. Jalen Hurts looked fantastic, and the Eagles shut up a lot of doubters this season. 

Now, I don’t think this means a great deal against the Falcons, who looked lost offensively and might be the most cursed franchise in the most cursed city of the most cursed state in sports (they’re certainly in the running with Detroit). But if Philly can continue to build on this momentum, they easily have the second-best QB situation in a division which has been very -- um -- competitive the last few years.

Venturing across the state of Pennsylvania, the Steelers might actually be...good? Again? What a preposterous notion. While Big Ben continued to look like, as I put it on the Blanket Coverage Podcast, a rotting corpse of himself, he still has the touch in the short game that could carry the Steelers to yet another playoff run if all goes right. I think this could be a misleading game, though. The stat sheet leans all the way in favor of Buffalo in every category except for a few. Buffalo outgained the Pittsburgh offense by over 100 yds. They had more first downs and a better conversion percentage on 3rd down. The only areas where Pittsburgh won the game? Turnovers, sacks, penalties, and red zone conversion percentage. All of those things can be fixed for the Bills as soon as this week. However, the Steelers beat Buffalo where and when it counted, which is a staple of Mike Tomlin’s tenure and part of the reason why he’s never had a losing season. I’m still not so sure that the Steelers can compete for that division given the Browns’ performance against Kansas City, even in a loss.

Urban Meyer is questionable for Week 2 (Losing)

I’m sure Meyer will be back on the sideline for next week, but how much longer will he be able to stand up after that? Last year’s consolation prize for having the worst record in the NFL, Trevor Lawrence, looked like he was making Clemson throws against an NFL defense. Sorry, bud, but the windows are a lot tighter, and the coverages are much more deceiving. 

Lawrence did not look particularly sharp yesterday, and neither did the Jacksonville Jaguars, who looked well on their way to earning another first overall pick against none other than the Houston Texans! Just for reference, if there were an AP ranking for NFL laughing stocks/dumpster fires, the Texans would have been the unanimous preseason #1 team. Not to fear though, Jacksonville fans. At least you have a coach who has historically dealt with losses really well. Jags slander is included below, free of charge.

 
 
 
 

Quick Hitters

I enjoyed watching the Titans play as much as I enjoy listening to Luke Bryan. I hate Luke Bryan. Tennessee will be fine; they just need time to gel. I’m incredibly biased, but it didn’t look to me like the Titans were completely outgunned today against the Cards. The O-line and secondary clearly had several communication breakdowns, not to mention an injury to safety Amani Hooker. 

The one guy who was outgunned? Taylor Lewan, a team favorite and former Pro Bowl LT. Chandler Jones son’d him for the entirety of the game on his way to a career-high FIVE sacks. This Cardinals team might just be legit, and in the loaded NFC West, they’ll need to prove it all year long. The Titans, however, should be able to fend off the 1-0 division leader Houston Texans to make the playoffs. But not if they play like this all year.

The Chiefs looked beatable in the first half before pulling a rabbit out of their collective hat to stun the Browns, who came out red-hot and looked to be able to move the ball up and down the field at will. Down 22-106 in the first half, KC started to gain momentum little by little. Then, in classic KC fashion, a one-play drive gave the Chiefs the lead and the momentum off of a Mahomes cross-body bomb to Tyreek Hill. Then, after giving up a Cleveland touchdown, they drove right back down the field for a Mahomes to Kelce score which won them the game. Stop me if you’ve heard that one before. This could easily be a Week 1 preview of the AFC Championship.

I was so wrong about the Bengals, but I might’ve been right about the Vikings. Their defense looked helpless against the strongest Bengals’ offense we’ve seen in a long time. Kirk Cousins is still exactly who we thought he was. On the other hand, for all the talk we’d heard about the Bengals’ O-line issues and Ja’Marr Chase’s struggles, both looked perfectly fine and dandy. This team could be an extremely frisky Wild Card contender. Vikings fans, it’s going to be a long year. Joe Burrow, on the other hand, may be the beacon of hope that Cincinnati has needed for a long time.

Packers. Woof. That was a bad one. The saving grace? The Tampa Bay Buccaneers lost 38-3 to the Saints last year in Week 1. That team went 9-7 en route to a Super Bowl. Let’s talk about the other team, though. The final score was somehow far more shocking than the goose egg in the INT column for Jameis. Oh, and he outplayed the reigning MVP, who threw 2 picks and looked like he needed a cigarette and a PBR on the sideline. I think this might be a reverse Samson situation for Aaron Rodgers. My guy needs a cut and shave.

Daniel Jones is still a turnover machine. The Giants’ defense, which looked to be moderately stacked before the season, looked uninterested in defending the pass against Teddy Two Gloves. The Broncos look like they could contend for a Wild Card spot and surprise some people this year, especially with the way the defense played. The Giants, however, might be looking for a quarterback in the near future. May I suggest another shitty, overrated QB from Tobacco Road who could be available in the top 10 next April?

Tua to Waddle is going to be a problem in the AFC East. Both former ‘Bama quarterbacks (Mac Jones being the other) looked like checkdown Charlie, though I saw some downfield looks from Tua that he wouldn’t have taken last year. The Dolphins are just a well-coached team right now, with enough talent to win on both sides of the ball. That goes a long way, especially when you can get a GW turnover off a Bill Belichek-coached team. I still think both teams will be slugging it out at the end of the year for a spot in the Wild Card, but could push for a division championship if the Bills look like they did yesterday.

Dan Campbell covered! Let’s go Lions! The thing about the Motor City kneecap-biters is that they will not be giving up in the 3rd quarter anytime soon. This was my preseason pick for a bad team that outplays expectations. So far, the Texans look to take the cake in that category. HCDC could have something to say about that, though. Goff is not good, but he’s also not that bad either. I will be betting on the Lions to backdoor cover big spreads for the foreseeable future.

Carson Wentz is not going to lead the Colts to the playoffs, but I was impressed with a few of his throws. While he didn’t throw any picks (shocker of the week), he did lose a fumble. The Colts’ receiving core will have to come a long way if they want to make a run, but with the current state of the AFC South, it might not matter.

Again, if I didn’t write about your team (sorry Jets fans), it’s because I hate them with a burning passion. In all seriousness though, I will try to get to each team as much as I can throughout the season. If I’m wrong, just remember that I’m always right and I can’t possibly lose in gambling, fantasy, or pick ‘ems like I did this week.

Check out the Blanket Coverage Podcast every Wednesday evening for more expert analysis and freezing cold takes. Follow us on Twitter @blanketcovpod and on Instagram @blanketcoveragepodcast 

 
FootballNoah ParkerNFL, football, Jaguars, titans, cardinals, steelers, eagles, bears, nagy, justin fields, andy dalton, Chiefs, browns, falcons, Bills, Big Ben, Week 1, Tua, mac jones, dolphins, Patriots, Rams, Stafford, urban meyerComment