Here Lies Texans Fans: Born 1999, Died 2021
(Photo by Tim Warner/Getty Images) via texasmonthly
For those of you who don’t know, Texans fans are having a bit of a rough offseason. Franchise quarterback Deshaun Watson publicly requested a trade because he doesn’t trust ownership, and now things seem to have hit rock bottom. The organization's greatest player JJ Watt has been released upon his request.
I can’t say I’m shocked, but I can say I’m surprised. Watt became a legit hero to the city of Houston after he raised 41 million dollars to aid those suffering from the Hurricane Harvey disaster, which is the largest ever crowd funded charity.
That’s bigger than football. The man is a walking legend in Houston, and is treated like royalty in the city. The Texans repaid Watt for his heroics by turning into a complete fucking joke of an organization and not putting enough talent around him to win, or trading that talent for a klondike bar and piece of moldy bread.
It took a lot of blood, sweat, tears and determination, but the McNair family finally went the extra mile to solidify themselves as the worst owners in the NFL (If you listen closely you can hear Woody Johnson sobbing in the distance).
As one fan put it on the Texans subreddit, “Where Deshaun and JJ go, I go. Love this sub, love you guys, love our city - but I don’t think we should support this team anymore.”
Jesus H. Christ. Could you imagine being so fed up with your hometown team's ownership that you not only choose to not support them, but encourage other fans to do the same? These people are making San Diego Chargers fans sad, holy shit.
Much to Texans fans dismay, JJ does seem to be enjoying free agency. He tweeted this out Wednesday.
JJ Watt undoubtedly has a number of suitors, so he’ll get to choose where he lands. Here are my top 5 destination for the 3x defensive player of the year:
5. Pittsburgh Steelers
Pittsburgh starts off the list for one reason only. That’s where his brothers play. JJ Watt is a big marketing guy, who has already managed to get his brother Derek, who plays fullback, onto Subway commercials with him.
However, I think the enticement to don the black and yellow ends there. Pittsburgh is cap strapped with an aging QB who can’t throw, multiple free agents leaving, and coming off of the worst possible way to end a season that started out 11-0.
4. Kansas City Chiefs
The Chiefs have been named as one of the teams who are most interested in signing Watt. Kansas City now has a whole to fill on D-end opposite Frank Clark, and signing the 3x defensive player of the year would most definitely fill that hole.
Not only would it help the Chiefs, but it would undoubtedly give Watt the chance to play for a legitimate Super Bowl contender. The real issue here is cap space. It would take a lot of creative moves for the Chiefs to be able to afford the former Texan.
3. Cleveland Browns
Congrats Cleveland! You’re finally becoming a team where free agents are (at least) talked about wanting to go to your team. The nightmare of Hue Jackson seems like a distant memory.
In all seriousness, the Browns have been linked to a potential Watt signing and for good reason. They have plenty of cap space to give Watt whatever he wants. They have a high-powered running offense that will keep him off the field, and Baker Mayfield showed he isn't exactly a slouch in his two playoff starts.
If the Browns manage to pull this off it would signal that the organization has come a long way from being the laughingstock of the NFL to legit contenders.
2. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Tampa being on this list doesn’t have much to do with needs or cap space but everything to do with ring chasing. Although, I will say that signing Watt should be a priority for the Bucs if they decide to not re-sign OLB Shaq Barrett.
This would be a continuation of last year's trend of NBA-level ring chasing happening in the NFL. After Brady signed with the Bucs all sorts of players came out for a chance to win a ring alongside the GOAT. Why should JJ Watt be any different this year? JJ would be another fun guy that the Bucs have because why not.
1. Green Bay Packers
The prodigal son returns. The Packers have been rumored to be among the favorites to sign JJ, and boy I sure hope they do. The hometown kid JJ Watt gets to come back to Wisconsin, where he has a literal log cabin, and contend to take the Lombardi trophy back home.
I don’t think you could write a better storybook ending for a JJ Watt career than that. It would also be the classiest move for JJ to go to the Packers for Texans fans, who he respects greatly.
In my opinion, this is the best and most likely situation for JJ because it checks all the boxes. JJ gets to go back home to the state he loves and ring chase at the same time. Also, from a football fan's perspective it would be pretty awesome to see JJ get a ring with the Packers.